PC gamers are getting fed up with one shoddy port after another

Forget wizard school, that's for dweebs who get upset if a web quiz assigns them a house they don't identify with. I'm signing up for rogue class.

This week I've been playing Hero-U: Rogue to Redemption, an RPG/adventure by the creators of the Quest for Glory series, which it shares a setting and a sense of humor with. At Hero-U there are classes for various classes, like paladins and warriors, but the rogues are kept in the basement in a class thinly disguised as one for "disbarred bards". You need a tolerance for puns and wordplay at Hero-U.

Like the Persona games you have to balance activities with the amount of time in your day. After class you can study, train, play games with other students (there's a poker-like card game called Poobah that's all about reading tells), and explore the school. There are of course secret doors and multiple dungeons beneath the university. Right now I'm in the sea caves, having done well enough on the midterms to devote myself to joining a classmate who is a pirate's daughter on a treasure hunt.

Just between you and me, I took Magic as an elective so I could learn to make explosive runestones. Even if you're not a wizard, that's gotta look good on a résumé.

If you're not familiar with Blink, it's the best episode of Doctor Who and maybe one of the best things ever broadcast on television. I guess the moon landing is probably up there too. Anyway, it's the episode with the weeping angels, which look like the kind of sad lady statues you see in graveyards only whenever you're not looking, they move. They're terrifying.

The top-voted Steam review for monster battler Wild Hearts, released on Thursday, is a thumbs down: one of approximately 1,700 negative reviews posted in Wild Hearts' first 24 hours on the store, earning it a "mostly negative" summary. "The price is higher than the FPS you will be able to pull in this game," the review reads. 571 people marked it helpful. Five people reacted with a slow clap emoji. One awarded it the prestigious Michelangelo trophy.

From Sicily to Rome, you'll push your way north, fighting the Nazis in random skirmishes and incredible bespoke missions. It's a huge turn-based campaign that serves up a slew of spectacular, tactically interesting RTS battles, and it should be the most exciting thing Relic has ever done. Lamentably, this is not the case due to the absence of one crucial ingredient: it isn't remotely dynamic.