Counter-Strike 2 is real, free, and everything carries over

Friends, I'm coming to you live from the fiery afterglow of Counter-Strike 2's announcement. It's really here and it's really real, and in classic Valve fashion, it was announced via a YouTube video about... volumetric smoke grenade tech? Sure thing, Gabe.

But CS2 isn't the only thing making waves this week. We've all had some hands-on time with the Diablo 4 closed beta, and you know what? I think we like it. No one's more surprised about that than PCG's Andy Chalk, an old-school Diablo fan who entered the beta ready to hate it, but found himself hooked after a swift, unexpected ass-kicking from The Butcher. Hey, it takes all sorts to make a Sanctuary.

On March 3, a largely unknown creator named Steve 'Veddge' Nelson shared an unassuming-sounding mod on the Doomworld forums. He claims this is an enhanced version of a 15-year-old "my own house but full of demons" map file left behind by a recently deceased friend. As an aficionado of all things Doom, I implore you to absolutely take this at face value, download it and play it immediately. Just go in blind.

Valve has announced Counter-Strike 2, the newest iteration of the greatest and most popular competitive FPS in history. The developer says "Counter-Strike 2 is an overhaul to every system, every piece of content, and every part of the C-S experience."

How can I convince you to play Tchia? By telling you it has a lush, startling beauty comparable to Sea of Thieves and a more satisfying treasure map sidequest than Red Dead Redemption 2? How about the open world exploration and stronghold invasions of Far Cry 3 but with Breath of the Wild's glider and a protagonist you'll actually love? I'll even throw in one of the most enjoyable in-game cameras and photo modes I've ever seen, plus a ukulele that can be used to summon creatures, change the weather and time of day, and, oh yeah, play real music. Do we have a deal?

The Diablo 4 early access beta that ran this weekend got off to an entirely predictable rough start, as players struggled with overlong queue times and dodgy stability. But once things had settled down and stabilized somewhat, the whole thing actually went pretty well. The general feeling seems to be that the beta was good. Like, really good.

Elden Ring publisher Bandai Namco has released a bunch of stats to celebrate the game's first anniversary and, presumably, to taunt us all about how bad we are at it. There have been more deaths thanks to the game's myriad hazards than there are people currently alive on Earth, which seems like a not-great record, and nearly six billion attempts to take down its various bosses, most of which failed miserably.